The Realization
by secretagentxy
Summary: After Hiyori saves Yato from his almost-fatal blight, she begins to realize she has feelings for him. If you've seen up to episode 9 of the anime, it begins there. I realize the manga has gone on a lot further, but I haven't read it yet so please keep that in mind. ( I would say it's more of a T rating but I plan for more chapters so yes. Told from Hiyori's POV. Hope you enjoy!)
1. Chapter 1

I began to watch him closer after the blighting accident. It was just that I was worried…  
I think.  
I used to be okay with just waking up to his scent, however far away he was; I could always smell him.

"Yato…"

But now I made him sleep in my brother's room, with Yukine. I wanted to keep a close eye on both of them. School felt longer every day. I started feeling anxious. The anxiety grew inside my like a fetus, and I soon felt completely submersed it its waters. Yato and Yukine were as normal as ever. Yukine was really trying to control himself. Yato kept taking any job he could find for 5 yen, and well I kept feeling overwhelmed. I left my body even more frequently, but I had stopped asking Yato to help. I had stopped asking anyone for help. I began to like my phantom form more than myself. Why was I so down?  
After school I would run to meet up with Yato and Yukine. My anxiety felt lighter with them. I felt this need to be around them all the time.  
One night at home I asked Yato and Yukine for their clothes to wash them.  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT", exclaimed Yato. "You can do what you want with Yukine's clothes, but you are sure as hell not touching my jersey"  
"Typical…YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT, GIVE HER THE JERSEY" Yukine got aggressive.  
"LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE RUNT, I AM YOUR GOD AND YOU WILL TREAT ME WITH RESPECT"  
Yato and Yukine began tumbling on the floor, fighting to get each other's clothes off. I was blushing like mad. When they managed to remove everything but their undergarments, they both blushed, screamed, and ran to opposite sides of the room. I picked up the clothes and ran off quickly, laughing quite loudly.  
"HIYORIII GET BACK HEREEEEEEE" Yelled Yato, but Yukine restrained him giggling. "I AM A GOD".

I started the washer but I felt myself tingling all over. It was his jersey. I was holding it. Hell, I practically shoved my face into it. His smell. This smell. There were shivers traveling all over my body.  
"_What am I doing?", _I thought. "_This is so wrong."_ I tossed in Yukine's clothes and Yato's pants, but I could not wash the jersey.  
_"I admit it, I am a 15 year old pervert. I am doomed to live with this"_ I couldn't deny it, and I scurried into my room and hid it under my pillow. I gave them some of my brother's old pajamas to wear, and said I was going to sleep early.  
_"Why am I so nervous"_ I was sweating. I kept peeking at my bed as I brushed my teeth. I could smell Yato from here and it was driving me crazy. Was I a lunatic? I had some stray-god's never-washed jersey under my pillow, and I felt excited?  
I laid down beside my pillow, almost lighting my sheets on fire with how high my body temperature was. "Yato…"

I stopped resisting. I reached for the jersey, and pushed it up to my chest. His scent. His scent was everywhere. I was erupting with temptation. I wanted him. I could finally admit that I wanted him.

"Yato…"

I wanted him to hold me, to pat my head, to…KISS me. God I wanted it all. I felt so out of control.

"Hiyori, did you call for me?" Yato's voice echoed through my room and I felt stone-solid. I was done for.  
"No-oo. "  
"Oh I thought I hea…"  
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM"  
Yato ran out and I felt like an idiot. I guess my reaction didn't make much sense, but I was terrified he might see me. What was I even doing?  
I got up, tossed Yato's jersey in the ongoing washer, and inched to my room in self-pity. Not only was I a pervert, I was falling for a God.


	2. Chapter 2

It was so sunny the next day. I woke up early to dry and fold my house-guests clothes. I was going to leave the pile at the door, but decided it would look too suspicious if my parents saw it. I opened the door only slightly and peeked inside.  
Yato and Yukine were practically cuddling, though I didn't understand how with Yato snoring so loudly. I left the clothes on the floor, and then went and got two trays with some breakfast.  
My heart felt so heavy still. I looked down at the mound of clothes, still embarrassed about my night with Yato's jersey. Why did I lose control of myself in such a strange way?

I have never had a boyfriend before. I actually can't recall ever liking anyone before, other than Touno MY GOD. But that was different. So different. That was admiration for someone far away. Yato was close to me. I didn't want to ruin my relationship with him or Yukine.  
I wish I had someone to talk about it with. This revelation sat heavy on my skin, it followed me around everywhere.  
_I am going to ruin my friendship with Yato._  
It was after much walking that I realized I was no longer in my body. In fact, I had no idea where I was.  
I sighed, turned around, and was immediately mauled by a group of small, grotesque phantoms.

"You're going to ruin everything. Ruin everything" They mimicked my thoughts, laughing.  
"He doesn't feel the same say, hehe he doesn't feel the same way" "You should just kill yourself, he won't love you back"

Their words were haunting. Were they right? I had no defense against this. I wanted to call out for help, but I felt so embarrassed and alone.

"He won't come find you" "He hates you" "He thinks you're annoying"  
"Just die. Just die. Just DIE."

I was consumed by phantoms. I laid down on the concrete, forgetting what my life was like when I had a body. Forgetting my friends, Touno, Yukine….Yato. All I felt was rejection stinging through me.  
Weakness taking over.  
Laughing.  
I closed my eyes…

"Hiyori!"  
"HIYORI WAKE UP PLEASE" I felt the weight of my body again, as Yukine screamed at me over and over again. My eyes opened.  
"Hiyori, Hiyori, are you okay?" Yukine asked.

"Yeah, what..what happe…" Before I could ask, Yato's body crashed on the cement in front of me, and a huge phantom towered over him.

"Yato she woke up, I can help you now!" Yukine ran over to him.

"Sekki"! Yato sliced the phantom with his blade. It disappeared into the sky.

He walked over to me. "Hiyori…"  
My whole body shifted body temperatures. My face was boiling. All he said was my name, that's all he said.

"Are you okay, you look a little flustered?" Yukine asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't remember what happened…" I said. I really didn't. I remember walking and then everything went dark.

"Some guys found your body on the street a pretty long way from here, me and Yato saw them carrying it and well…" Yukine laughed, remembering something. "Yato kind of forced them to give you to us," he continued, "I gotta say, he's really got that whole 'wrath of a God' thing down. He looked so mad!"

I looked over at Yato, who was blushing intensely. "Yeah well whatever, I HAD to scare them somehow. More importantly, how did you let yourself get so far from your body?"

"I don't know." I said.

"We found you almost becoming phantom food here. Thank god we got here in time!" Yukine looked genuinely relieved, and Yato kept looking down.

"I've told you Hiyori, you have to be careful with you tail. You almost…" Yato seemed worried. This time, it was him and Yukine who had saved me.

"I'm sorry Yato…Yukine" I cried, "I don't know what happened". I sat on my knees sobbing like a puppy. It wasn't just what had happened now, it was everything. It was how hopeless my feelings felt, how lonely I was, how much I worried. I dumped it all out onto my hands, in front of Yato and Yukine. The tears wouldn't stop.

"Yato, you idiot, you made her cry!" Yukine yelled and walked over to me. "Hiyori, it's okay. We owed you, remember? Don't cry"  
I kept bawling.  
Yato turned around and said "What I don't understand is why you let the phantoms consume you? That's unlike you. Why didn't you fight? Why didn't you call me?" He sounded mad, which only produced more tears.

"Yato shut up!" Yukine coaxed, "This isn't the time for that, and can't you see it's making her cry more?"

I got up and hid my face in my hands. "I gotta go home." I said, "Sorry…"

I ran back to my house, my face dripping like a cloud.


	3. Chapter 3

Yato didn't show up. Yukine arrived at my house that night, alone. I wanted to ask but I bit my tongue. Why should I care? If he was going to be mad about me getting myself in to trouble, there wasn't a friendship between us to begin with. So what could I ruin?  
I knew it was temporary but being angry at him made it easier to distract myself from all the feelings that had been teasing me lately.

"Wanna watch a movie, Yukine"? I sat on my couch as Yukine looked at the ceiling.

"Sure but," Yukine hesitated, "are you sure you're okay? Things got pretty heated back there and Yato..."

"I'm fine," I interrupted. "I just got flustered and have been stressed with school. I wasn't myself, I'll be more careful from now on, okay?"  
Yukine stared at me for a while, then smiled and sat next to me.

"What movie are we watching?" He asked.

"I don't know, pick one! I'll go make some snacks." I got up while Yukine shuffled through movies. As the popcorn popped in the microwave, I prepared some tea.  
_I miss…  
_ARGH. I grunted loudly and Yukine shouted "Hiyori was that you?"  
I didn't answer. I just walked out with a bowl of popcorn and some tea, sat down, and stared at the movie Yukine had chosen to watch.

I woke up on the couch. The menu screen of the movie kept playing the same song over and over again. The time was 5:40am. My parents would be up soon. I looked around for Yukine but he was gone.  
_Probably doing some job with Yato_, I thought.  
I cleaned up, and walked into my room. I would be skipping school, I decided. I slipped into my bed and breathed in.  
_That smell…  
_I guess Yato's jersey had left behind some traces of his scent. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

My mother came into my room to wake me for school.  
"I don't feel well, Mom" I croaked.  
She was understanding. I had never skipped school because I didn't want to go, so she assumed I was sick and left me alone. She left for work and I strolled to my living room in my pajamas and turned on the TV. There was nothing on so I got some books and started studying.  
Not too much time passed and I saw myself sleeping over some reading material.  
"Great." I said. If only I could control this spontaneous astral projections that keep happening to me.

I decided it would be best to take advantage of this, despite my outfit (pajamas), and I walked outside, then pranced roof to roof taking in the scenery. I went by my school and observed the PE classes. Then I pounced to the park, teasing dogs that were being walked. I felt a lot better after my day. The air felt clean and humid on my phantom skin. After a while, I ran back home to continue studying. I woke up in my body and looked at the time. It was only a quarter past one. The house would be empty for a while.

"A phantom in a nightgown is probably the easiest way to attract more phantoms, Hiyori." Yato's voice lingered in my ear like a soothing lullaby. A surprising, spontaneous lullaby…

"You saw me?!" I exclaimed, my body shivered as I looked up at him.

"Why are you so nervous?" He walked closer to me, slowly, not taking his eyes off mine.

"Uh, well, I'm kind of in pajamas and I," I stammered and he was now adjacent to my shoulder, "I am not feeling well."  
Yato laughed. He grabbed my chair and turned it to face him.

"Where's Y-Yukine?" I mumbled, with my head down, hair in my face.

"He's around," Yato explained, "I told him to leave us alone for a bit so we could talk about what happened."  
My breathing was off. I was practically hyperventilating. When did this happen to me? I felt so pathetic, so stupid, and so weak.

"Hiyori," Yato brushed the hair out of my face with his hand, "I worried about you, what has been going on lately?"  
I pushed him away and got up. I would not let this keep making me act like an idiot. But first…

"I'm going to shower and change," I said. "You stay here and we'll talk, I'll be back". I walked to my room and then my bathroom and shut the door.


	4. Chapter 4

The water felt like a cleansing rainfall on my skin. I scrubbed my whole body with soap. I felt like I was letting go of all negative energy. Everything that felt heavy was slowly becoming lighter.  
I stepped out and blinked, watching myself in the mirror. I dried, got dressed, and opened the door, wondering if Yato would still be there.

When I stepped out into the living room, there he was, looking at me from the couch.

"Jesus, you take long in the shower Hiyori" He smirked, "Way to keep a god waiting".  
I laughed. It felt so refreshing to laugh, and smile at him. I walked over and sat down next to him. He looked at me expectantly and I figured I should get to the point.

"Sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind lately, so I've been acting weird," I said. I felt nervous again, red inside and out, but it wasn't in a negative way.  
I was, in fact, excited. I looked up at Yato, his eyes were static watching my every gesture, I could tell.

"Yato?"

"Hiyori…" Yato paused, "Please don't ever let yourself be consumed by phantoms again. Promise me. Promise me that you'll call out for me next time. I'll hear you. I swear to you that I'll hear you". Yato was looking down now, and my heart was practically vibrating.

"I promise…" I said. Things were getting pretty tense. I felt guilty, but also fortunate that I had someone who cared about me so much.  
Yato smiled. Then he hesitantly reached his hand out and pat my head. I was blushing strongly, but still looked at him. He was blushing too, but looking away.

I felt like I was possessed. "Yato, look at me".  
Yato turned to me, blushing even more, "What?" he asked.

"W-why are you blushing?" I questioned him, feeling my stomach swirl into nausea.

"Hiyor-ri, um, well why are YOU blushing?" he rebutted. It was like Yato to turn things around and joke his way out of something, but he was staring at me. He was nervous, but looking directly into my eyes.

I kept blinking and looking down. Yato grabbed my face and make me look at him.

"Hiyori," he sort of laughed, "Do you have a fever?"

There were tornadoes in my chest, but I felt brave. I put my hand over Yato's, which was still gently placed on my face. This was starting to feel like a competition.  
"No-o, you just make me nervous." I declared. It was practically a confession. I grabbed his hand and removed it from my face, looking away.

Yato then clutched my arm and contested, "Why?"  
His question was hardly curious. He asked it calmly, not taking his eyes off how I would react.

_Because I...asdfg_, Gah, even thinking about it saying it was difficult.

"Hiyori, say it. Tell me why." Yato demanded. I felt his breath on my face and he was still gripping my arm. Despite how uneasy I felt, I wanted him…closer.

So I embraced him. I put my head into his chest, and my arms around his back; his smell made my body quiver, I felt the chills all over me. My voice muffled through his jersey, "Don't torture me, you idiot".

He held me for a long time. I refused to move until my face returned to its natural color.

"Do you want to go get some ramen with me this week, Hiyori?" Yato broke the long, yet strangely comfortable, silence and I finally glanced up at him.

Did he mean…

"...Just us?" Yato added, looking away.

My heart pounded, and because the room was so silent, it was all I could hear. Just my thumping heart, my breathing, and Yato's breathing. I wondered for a bit what was happening. I couldn't be sure if it was what I thought it was. Was it a date? Could we actually go on a date? I had always thought my feelings for Yato could never actually reach him, with him being a god and all, but now I was starting to think that they could. I paused my thought process and shifted my attention to Yato, who was anxiously waiting for my reply.

"Hiyori?" He consulted.

"Yes, I do." I answered.

_Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. _


End file.
